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Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Since I get accused of hating on GW2...

...I shall now demonstrate the difference between my previous honest, unbiased and balanced opinion on a game I've actually said I would most likely buy and what would happen if I let myself go a little with a proper hate post.

Guild Wars 2 is a stupid little kids game for all the retards that continue to blindly accept the horse shit gameplay inherent in MMOs these days. Kill 20 rats, now kill 20 not rats, now collect 10 cock rings, oh but it's different to other games because you didn't have to talk to a guy with a question mark over his head. Yeah.... it's dynamic, because it auto starts sometimes when you're not there. Sorry, that's pushing the definition of dynamic in this context. It's no more dynamic than my central heating pre-programmed schedule. It's barely any different to WAR's public quests, amazing as they were.

It has art design that is mostly aimed slightly above Harry fucking Potter, yeah, those kids books you think it's cool for adults to read. Wake up you dong, they're not, they are kids books, for kids. See what Arenanet think of you? They think you're 8 years old. However it also steps quite happily into My Little Pony too with it's cutesy pixie spunk bubble gnome race and smattering of cartoony colour pallet shite. They think you're 8 years old and a girl.

Best PvP EVAR! Scenarios, battlegrounds, whatever..... exactly the same as every sodding game since WoW rubber stamped the format of instanced PvP. Boring. Every class is ranged and range is king. Were they trying to make a shooter? Are they trying to compete with Planetside 2 already? WTF? How shite is that? They can't even properly balance melee against ranged, so they give everyone ranged options. And they didn't even have the bottle to make proper factions, it's servers... yeah, great. What a load of character packed in.. brilliant. Whole WvWvW scene will die within 6 months due to apathy, it's natural dullness, lack of soul and the release of games with proper factions. Wank. Actually no it won't. because of no sub fee and most of the game's population not being old enough to own a credit card, I guess they can't go elsewhere anyway. Unless they can convince daddy to pay their sub fee for a proper game.

Guild Wars 2, AKA a dull, flat and soulless experience for 8 year old girls. Anyone hyping this game is an idiot.

Now that would be a bit more of a hate post. I could do better, but I just knocked this out in 10mins, so that's all you get. See the difference?
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20 comments:

  1. Grimnir2 May 2012 at 19:32

    Pretty sure someone is going to rupture a testicle before they get to that last sentence.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2 May 2012 at 19:48

    This ... this ... this is the greatest thing you have ever written.

    I laughed. I laughed again. I had to stop reading because I was laughing so hard.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2 May 2012 at 20:32

    Prick!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Luranni2 May 2012 at 21:02

    I actually agree with a large part of this :P Just want another option to WAR.

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  5. Werit2 May 2012 at 22:57

    My favorite part is the 'Wank.' sentence.

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  6. Unknown2 May 2012 at 23:16

    woah woah woah there mate, that is just a bit over the top...

    Im talking about the unicorn man butt all hanging out in the wind there, of course.

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  7. Bootae2 May 2012 at 23:23

    I aim to please :P

    ReplyDelete
  8. GettCouped3 May 2012 at 02:52

    Very informative and helpful post.
    Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Karic3 May 2012 at 07:57

    Thank you Bootae. I really laughed hard.. good read to start a day ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous3 May 2012 at 09:59

    [shakrah] very very good

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  11. Bob The Builder3 May 2012 at 14:21

    The game will have nonstop crashing in world pvp ... get more than 20 v 20 and aoe...the area crashes.... Its no wonder they fired half the developing staff a year ago. Aion 2.0 = GW2

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous3 May 2012 at 15:59

      I know it's the "hate on GW2" post, but I didn't have a single CTD or zone crash while I played last weekend. This included some sizeable keep sieges.

      Delete
  12. Anonymous3 May 2012 at 15:57

    Brilliant!

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  13. Sylow4 May 2012 at 09:06

    Such a long hate post, in response to only one "hatorade" comment on the previous posting? Somebody must have struck a nerve there? :D

    Amusing, although i find most of your first posting way better. (I disagree on some of your points there, find some points of yours not to be that bad as you state, while finding other weaknesses which you did not mention, but hey, it's probably a matter of taste. )

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  14. Bootae4 May 2012 at 16:22

    Ahh no mate, it was more a response to stuff said elsewhere and for quite some time ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Viidias6 May 2012 at 02:40

    Very good post. Spot on the spot.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Tunry6 May 2012 at 20:35

    Glad to see you're still out there Boots. Bringing the truth ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Az8 May 2012 at 14:00

    Gunna play a cutesy pixie spunk bubble gnome just to annoy Luranni;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous10 July 2012 at 10:52

    I Loved this post keep up the good work all those people thinking that GW2 will be the new messiah are going to be in for a shock the only good thing going for GW2 is there is no sub so all those retards that think this game will save the MMO world as we know it are a bunch of small minded morons so grow some balls and get a life.

    ReplyDelete