I received a lovely email yesterday…

…apparently amongst a range of insults, I am a retarded noob. It must be true, the internet told me. Now I’m not entirely sure who my accuser is, since unfortunately he (or she) didn’t put their name on the email and the address is some random looking hotmail thing no doubt created for this attempted abuse, so to make my response I will have to designate them a name of my choosing… something worthy of their eloquent and charming correspondence, ah yes I know… I shall dub thee Mr WankBubble.
 
Mr Wankbubble has taken umbrage with, I presume, a couple of posts I made on WHA regarding server population and subscribers.
 
“Your posts are bullshit!1! IF your’ Server has 700 player obv  it cnt have FUCK all other subs”
 
No, Mr WankBubble I’m afraid it’s you who is talking shite here. Clearly you have no understanding of how subscription numbers, gain/loss of those subscribers, account activity and snapshots of data will relate to each other, or more to the point, how they don’t have a direct predictable relationship. Let me give you a real life example. Let’s say Gym membership, an example I expect you are unfamiliar with, but I shall ignore that suspicious image of your hideous mass of flesh and continue.
 
Bob owns a Gym, it’s quite a nice Gym, but the colour scheme is not to everyone’s taste. At 7pm in the evening the Gym has 50 members pumping iron. Oooh such muscles! I bet your sphincter is quivering at the thought Mr WankBubble hmmm? Annnnnnyway, over a week we take a look inside at 7pm and every night there’s 50 members pumping away (fnar fnar… contain yourself Mr WankBubble!). 50 people every night, so how many people have a paid membership for Bob’s Gym? What do you think Mr WankBubble? Not much more than 50 eh?
 
 The answer is… it’s impossible to say. It’s at least 50, but it could be 52, it could be 10,000. You simply do not know how many people have a membership, but haven’t attended all week, or only visit in the morning, the afternoon, once in a blue moon, etc. The only way of finding out is by getting Bob to show us his membership list, which Bob doesn’t feel like sharing. As such you are trying to infer meaning to snapshots of data that without further supporting information, actually have very little meaning. Or in other words, you sir are an idiot.
 
“Your fucking retarded noob and your guild sucks!!!”
 
Hmmm, the first part of that dubious sentence is encased in enough irony that I don’t particularly feel the need to respond. It did make me chuckle though, so I thank you for that. Everyone loves a good self-own.
 
As for the second half, well… Kill Frenzy has never proclaimed itself as anything but a decent community and fun guild to be in. We do ok in PvP, sometimes kicking arse in a huge way and sometimes sucking like a $2 whore. That goes with the territory when a guild is half casual like us. I know from Order players (who’s opinions are worth something) where KF ranks in the grand scheme of Karak Norn guilds and that’s just fine. I’ve no problem with us being I guess upper mid-table, I suppose we’re a bit like Tottenham Hotspur really. So I’m afraid again I will take more amusement from your statement than offence.
 
As for the rest of your email… I am sorry Mr WankBubble but I wasn’t entirely sure what language it was in. It looked like some kind of hybrid between southern English Chav and d3wD speak from 1995, which while charming in a “ahh bless his moronic soul” kind of way, unfortunately it was completely unintelligible. So I think I’ll respond to the entire bizarre text with:
 
LOL